Paper straws suck. So do paper grocery sacks. I’ll take plastic any day.

Low flow toilets, faucets, and shower heads don’t work – give me the full-blown water pressure.

I also find the protective plastic outlets to be a real pain in the ass.

Recycling is stupid and exhausts more energy than it conserves. Not to mention the self-righteous moral high ground people pretend it endows them with also harms the environment even more.

Your rescue dog is an ugly mutt – and no I don’t want to donate to save homeless pets when I buy dog food for my purebred Bernese Mountain Dog.

Cows are for eating. If you want a properly cooked steak, tell the waiter to knock it’s horns off, wipe it’s ass and send it in here. Or better yet, get a propane grill and do it yourself.

Most things don’t need fixed. We don’t need more bans. People do stupid shit to feel good about themselves.